On Friday I was audited.
If you live in a corporate world you will be familiar with the sensation. I’d like to say I felt warm all over, but I would be lying (lying through my teeth).
I was put through a “process audit” by an auditor in his mid 20’s, 6 foot 2 inches, white teeth, blue suit, shiny shoes and a self satisfied attitude. Your average nightmare.
As he walked into my office I started to bristle, he got out his iPad (I ask you) so he could take notes of our conversation.
Then the inquisition began…
How do you know what your customers want?
- Do you understand your customers requirements?
- Do you have an agreed specification?
- When did you last talk to your customers and check the agreement still holds?
How do you deliver that consistently?
How do staff know what to do?
What measures do you have in place?
- Do you have clear management information?
- Are all the measures agreed and calculations documented?
- Is performance reviewed regularly?
What are the risks?
- Do you know what could go wrong?
- Do you know how bad it would be?
- Are your risks documented?
What are the controls?
- Do you have risk mitigation plans in place?
- How do you make sure your process does what it should?
It was like facing a human machine gun. After an hour-long interrogation he left. Smiling to himself.
The worst bit?
He did keep repeating the phrase “show me” (which caused some angst) but that wasn’t it.
It was the fact that his questions were really quite good. If I answered them all correctly, I really would have shown him I understood exactly what was going on.
I get the feedback next week.
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Image by Butte-Silver Bow Public Library