15 Things You Should Never Say in a Meeting

I sat in a management meeting the other day. In 3 minutes flat one person came out with all of these phrases…

  1. Massive logistical challenges
  2. Validated value chain split
  3. Delineated RACI
  4. Dynamic discussion
  5. Controllership  (Search me)
  6. Parallel conversation
  7. Standardised view
  8. Strategic road-map
  9. Take it forward
  10. There wasn’t room for that discussion
  11. Validated hands on time  (He liked validation)
  12. Clearer set of answers more efficiently
  13. Joined up cost perspective
  14. Joint forces
  15. Initially started off

I do wonder if he knew what he was talking about, I didn’t

How can you expect to communicate information clearly if you aren’t clear about the issues yourself?

 Tongue Tied Management Speak

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Image by wonderferret

This is a guest post by Bernie Smith.  Bernie specialises in producing KPI dashboards that speak clearly so you don’t have to.

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Comments

  1. I love it – this post has the same kind of truth that a Dilbert Cartoon is.

    Business is filled with insecure people speaking a lot of b********.

  2. James Lawther says:

    I think you are right Maz, never thought of it, but it is driven by insecurity

  3. I have a number of dislikes, the two most notable phrases being:

    – “It’s in hand.” Often used at project review meetings and utterly meaningless – I’ve yet to come across a KPI which specified activities to be “in hand”, yet you hear it all the time.

    – “I hear what you say.” This means the exact opposite, usually implying that irrespective of anyone else’s contribution, the decision is made and the mind is closed.

    These kinds of phrases waste so much time and for people whom English is not their first language, they represent total gibberish!

    • James Lawther says:

      I suppose they could tell you that they hear what you say and it is in hand

      Would that fill you with confidence?

      thanks for the comment Richard

      JL

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