I was sent this, by my friend Scott. It is funny, in a very sad sort of way. It demonstrates quite nicely how we can absolutely miss the point of what we are doing and get completely side tracked.
I wanted to send some sort of Festive greeting to my friends and family, but it is so difficult in today’s world to know exactly what to say without offending someone, somewhere. I have consulted with my lawyers and on their advice, I would like to make the following statement…
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my wishes, without reserve, limitation or other constraining factor, for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral celebration of the solstice period ( whether holiday be taken or not) , practised with the most enjoyable traditions ( howsoever determined) of the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice( without prejudice) not to practice religious or secular traditions.
It is also the desire of the Party of the First Part (hereinafter called the ‘Wisher’) that the party of the second part ( hereinafter called the ‘Wishee’) undergoes a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of , and passage through,the generally accepted Gregorian calendar year 2010, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped to make the country of residence( howsoever defined by prevailing national or supranational legislation), and/ or citizenship, of either the Wisher or the Wishee, great
For the avoidance of doubt the foregoing statement is not intended to state, imply or otherwise give rise to a conclusion that the country of either residence or citizenship of the Wisher or Wishee is necessarily greater than any other country, territory or defined geographical area ( whether formal nationhood be declared or not) and is made without regard to the race,creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the Wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms –
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable, with the sole proviso that no alteration to the original greeting may be made without prior written permission from the original Wisher ( such permission not to be unreasonably withheld) It implies no promise by the Wisher to take, or cause to be taken, any specific action to bring about the implementation any of the wishes made by the Wisher in respect of the Wishee and/or others. It is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the Wisher.
This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of Good Tidings for a period of one calendar year, or until the issuance of a suitable subsequent or replacement greeting of similar intent and utility, whichever circumstance arises first. The Warranty is limited to limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the discretion of the Wisher and no other claim will be entertained.
There is no cash alternative.